I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
