dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
