You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
