You work out of a Hotel?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
