Need sex. Gaining weight.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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