no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
