Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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