just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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