he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
