He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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