Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
