Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
