Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
