Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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