Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
