Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
