Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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