with your own penis?
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
