i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
