Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
