i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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