Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
