Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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