I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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