More tranny stories later!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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