wanna go halves on a baby?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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