Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
