i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
