so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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