I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
