Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.

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(323): View more from California

Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast

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(323): View more from California

they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(

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(775): View more from Nevada

She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire

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(913): View more from Kansas

Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?

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(716): View more from New York

This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.

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