and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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