Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
