I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
