Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
