I just made out with a guy for $7.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's blow job season.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
