Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
