Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
