We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
