another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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