i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The feeling are messing with the penis
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
