I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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