im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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