I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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