He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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