New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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