You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
