She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
