sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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