His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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